Ace of Hearts

Author: Barbara Metzger
Published: September 6, 2005 (Signet)
Category: Regency Romance
Series: House of Cards Trilogy #1
Rating: 8/10

Alexander "Ace" Endicott, Earl of Carde, is in a predicament. It is unavoidable that an earl must marry and sire the requisite heir, but when he makes this known, he quickly finds himself with a three-of-a-kind; three women have decided that they're engaged to Ace. The only solution that comes to Alex is to run to his country house, only to find that he's followed quickly by one of his supposed fiancées. He's on the road again before his valet has finished unpacking, and this time, he's going deep into the countryside to search for his long-lost half-sister.

Alex's stepmother died in a tragic carriage accident and her toddler was not amongst the wreckage. Alex's father declined soon after that and swore Alex to a deathbed promise that he would not stop searching for little Charlotte. In his stepmother's hometown, he tries to interview her remaining family: her crazy aunt who claims she can talk to ghosts, and her two cousins, Nell and her stingy brother (whose name I can't recall). The brother has run off as soon as he hears Alex is in town, Alex calls on his stepgreataunt and cousin. At the end of his visit, he is attacked by a goose and Nell, and injured by his horse trying to protect Nell and the silly goose. He's also amazed at this time that Nell has grown into a beautiful woman (he hasn't seen her in over a decade, when she was a little girl).

So Nell nurses Alex and they reconnect and deal with the problems falling on their heads. For one, she's invited one of her old schoolmates, who also happens to be one of Alex's fiancées, as she didn't know the engagement was all in the deluded young lady's head. They're also trying to figure out why the estate is so poorly cared for. The tenants' homes are in disrepair and some tenants have left entirely, so where have all the profits gone? Apparently, Nell's brother is an absolute scumbag, and deserves to jump off the roof, which he attempts.

The mystery of the missing money is linked to the mystery of the missing sister, but there is no clear resolution to it at the end of Ace of Hearts. I'm sure the resolution is to come in the later books of the trilogy.

The romance was a bit slow to take off and I thought injecting the suitors for Nell was boring. One suitor? Fine. But a bunch? All the men suddenly find Nell interesting (despite living in a haunted house with a crazy old lady who claims she can converse with ghosts) because Alex seems to be interested in her. If she's good enough for an earl, she's good enough for them!

Alex eventually proposes marriage to Nell, but she wants him to be sure of his decision, saying that if he can go to London and purchase a special license and come back with his mind still made up, then she will marry him. I'm glad he didn't even make it all the way to London, as he realized that he wanted her to go with him and he couldn't be without her any longer, and turned the carriage around. It's a good thing he did, because Nell's brother was about to leap off the roof, and Alex had to save the scoundrel, doing so rather heroically and sealing the deal as Nell's hero thereafter.

Some people might complain that Alex was a horrible hero because he seems so cowardly, running away from his problems all the time. That's what I thought too at first, when I wasn't being amused by the idea of this man running away from three women in wedding dresses. Alex even admits that he's the scholarly one of the family. His younger brother Jack, who's fighting on the peninsula, is the brave one. Alex was actually terrified on the roof and preferred that Nell's brother just jump and be done with the act. However, he went on the roof despite his nerves and saved the man for Nell.

Everything ties together quite neatly, and Alex even manages to foist some of his fiancées off onto some of Nell's pseudo-suitors, which appeals to my very efficient nature.

Girl's Guide to Witchcraft

Author: Mindy Klasky
Published: October 2006 (Red Dress Ink)
Category: Chick Lit
Rating: 7/10

This is my first Red Dress Ink book, and I thought it was absolutely delightful. I wouldn't even call this a paranormal because it wasn't the main point of the book. It was more about the main character overcoming her problems. The magic just happened to be there and the story wasn't about her overcoming the control or training of her powers.

Jane Madison is a reference librarian at the Peabody Free Library, a library specializing in 18th century documents, so it's not the kind of library people come in for light reading. And since it's not one of those kinds of libraries, money's really short, and the board has just decided to cut Jane's pay by 25%. Since she can't afford to pay her rent with new salary, her boss Evelyn has offered her the cottage on the Peabody grounds, at no charge. Sweet deal, right? But Jane has to start wearing colonial costumes courtesy of Williamsburg, VA to attract more walk-ins.

On Jane's first night in her new home, she stumbles across a secret key that unlocks the basement door. Inside, she discovers a library of what looks to be magic books and a large statue of a black cat. She chooses a passage to read aloud and awakens the familiar housed within the statue. However, it doesn't take the form of a cat— instead, he takes the form of a very handsome (and very flamboyantly gay) man named Neko.

With her first use of magic comes the entrance of David Montrose, a warder (someone who enforce's the coven's rules), and Jane has used magic without registering with the coven first. After a couple times of catching Jane using magic while under the influence, he agrees to train her, but kisses her after one of the lessons. He quickly says that they have to stay away from that so their working relationship isn't ruined, so the romantic possibility sort of fades away, except for a slight tension hovering in the air.

The true object of Jane's affection is Jason Templeton, an assistant professor at a fictional university, a frequent patron of the Peabody. Jane calls him her imaginary boyfriend because she's always imagining their happy ending. After she discovers her magical ability and accidentally casts a love spell while drunk, Jason begins to see Jane and even attends her family reunion. But as in many a chick lit novel, he turns out not to be the man Jane dreamed him to be.

However, she doesn't turn to David Montrose, who is there for her when Jason disappoints her. The happy ending is one of those, "I'm going to be strong and dedicate myself to learning magic seriously." However, she said she'd take it seriously earlier and she didn't really do that because she was too busy making calf's eyes at Jason the scumbag.

There's a sequel scheduled for this fall, Sorcery and the Single Girl and I'm hoping there'll be more magic, but I have a feeling it'll be more of a chick lit book again.

Wait Until Midnight

Author: Amanda Quick
Published: February 1, 2005 (Berkley)
Category: Historical Romance/Mystery
Rating: 7/10

Adam Hardesty has discovered the murder scene of the woman who's blackmailing him. She's one of the mediums who've popped up on the scene as psychical studies have sparked Society's interest. Of course, all of the mediums are charlatans, employing cheap tricks to fool their customers. Unfortunately, the diary containing the details of Adam's past is missing and he must have it back or else the future of his younger sister will be ruined. He and his siblings aren't actually the long-lost relatives and heirs of Wilson Grendon, wealthy businessman. In fact, Adam isn't really related to his siblings. He used to live off the streets of London, selling secrets that belonged to the patrons of whores. He rescued his three siblings from their terrible fates on the streets, teaching them how to read and giving them a safe place to live. The eldest sister has married the Earl of Southwood in a love match (and he knows her true heritage); the brother is a scholar; the youngest sister is about to make her debut, and she is the one who would be harmed most by the blackmail information.

One clue found at the murder scene is a list of the last seance sitters, and one name has been underlined: Mrs. Caroline Fordyce, widowed author of serialized sensational novels. He pays her a morning visit, questioning her about the seance and suggests that Caroline and her aunts could've committed the murder, but takes it back . While Adam is speaking with her, Caroline decides to make Adam the model for the villain in her latest story.

They team up for the murder investigation because Caroline is determined to solve the crime herself, so Adam won't have cause to accuse her again. While Adam has secrets, so does Caroline, because she's not really a widow. She was invovled in a scandal in her previous hometown and changed her name and made up a dead husband. Her widowed status allows her to move more freely in Society, and her successful writing career supports her and her two aunts. Caroline is afraid that Adam will reveal her secret and the life she worked to build will be taken away from her.

In the course of the investigation, the two opposite personalities realize they get along and work together quite well. They attend a seance conducted by Irene Toller, the main competition of the the murdered medium. During the seance, Irene claims to have come in contact with the deceased Mr. Fordyce, and Adam trys consoling Caroline in the carriage, saying that the fraud (they know her tricks) shouldn't have preyed on her feelings like that. Caroline takes a risk and decides to trust Adam, telling him the truth about her marital status, or lackthereof. Adam begins to trust her and takes her to his old home where he raised his adopted siblings, telling her the secret of his family, the one he's being blackmailed for. They also get it on, which is no surprise because they're alone in a safe location, and they're attracted to each other. It's a good thing they were together, because it provides Adam with an alibi when Irene turns up dead and evidence planted at the crime scene pointing at him.

The murder mystery was rather good for a regency romance, and also surprisingly layered. Adam's dislike of being made the villain of a widely-read sensation novel makes for amusing reading, and you know that Caroline will make the villain the unexpected hero. There's the usual turning-down-the-marriage-proposal hooha, where Caroline thinks Adam is only offering to marry her to save her reputation. She wants to be loved, and Society believes she is a widow anyway, so there's nothing to worry about her reputation. Adam doesn't know that Caroline won't marry him because he hasn't admitted his love to her verbally. I sometimes wich that the heroine will just state the problem to her man and see how he'd react to that honesty.

Anyways, it was a good book to while away the time before Amanda Quick's new book, The River Knows is published.

Angelica

Author: Sharon Shinn
Published: March 2003 (Ace)
Category: SciFi/Fantasy
Rating: 7/10

Gabriel Aaron (Gaaron for short) is the Archangel-to-be in just a year and he has gone to an oracle to learn the name of his intended bride. An Edori woman named Susannah has been chosen, and he must find her while dealing with a strange new threat to Samaria. Men have been appearing across the land, but disappearing as soon as they're spotted. People have also started finding Edori and Jansai campsites scorched through some unknown means.

Susannah has left her birth clan and is following the clan of her lover, Dathan. However, he's a total hound dog, flirting with other girls frequently and he cheats on her. Gaaron arrives in her camp just as she and Dathan have a big old argument about the state of their relationship, and he talks to her kindly, and dropping the bomb on how she's supposed to be his Angelica. The next day, she realizes Dathan will never be faithful to her and allows Gaaron to sweep her up in his arms and goes back to the Eyrie with him.

Susannah has a hard time adjusting to the livestyle at the Eyrie and she's concerned with the fact that she and Gaaron aren't in love. She winds up falling in love with Gaaron after she sees what a kind and fair man he really is. However, they can't seem to talk to each other about their feelings, because he's fallen in love with her too. She refuses to marry him because he hasn't said he loves her, but of course, doesn't say that this is the problem. Gaaron has admitted that he's not good with handling women, and it never occurs to him to say that he loves Susannah. However, it's partially her fault too because she didn't tell him her true feelings either.

Because of this "I'm not going to say it first," we didn't really see the two as a happy couple until the last two pages of this book. I was a little disappointed by this. Don't expect a satisfying story about these two characters. Instead, look to the story of Gaaron's bitchy younger sister Marian. She winds up running away to an Edori clan and becomes instrumental in solving the mystery of disappearing strange men.

Susannah is a part of saving Samaria, but I really thought it was going to be something more exciting. She's got two kisses (a kiss is a small crystal implanted when a Samarian is a baby, and it helps Jovah keep track of them) implanted, and that is very rare. The second kiss by her ear has given her strange dreams filled with Jovah's voice for her entire life. She has been chosen to help Jovah get rid of the invaders. This isn't because she's got some special power or skill. Nope, it's really because she's gullible! After she helps Jovah get rid of the invaders, she's convinced that it was all a dream and I was disappointed in her for accepting it so easily.

Don't look to this book for romance. For a scifi/fantasy it's pretty good. It's far from the deepest one I've read, but it's entertaining and good for those who are just dipping their feet into the genre for the first time.

The Friday Night Knitting Club

Author: Kate Jacobs
Published: January 18, 2007 (Putnam)
Category: Fiction
Quote of Choice: We don't all love our jobs every day. And doing something you have a passion for doesn't make the work part of it any easier... it just makes you less likely to quit.
Rating: 8/10

Georgia Walker is a single mom to a twelve-year-old daughter, aptly named Dakota, and supports their tiny family by running the Walker and Daughter knitting shop. While knitting pieces on commission, Georgia opened the knitting store and it has become a well-frequented shop on New York's Upper West Side.

The Friday Night Knitting Club is the remarkable story of Georgia and the other women connected to her through her store. Slowly, a group of repeat customers made a habit of sticking around after hours on Fridays, partaking in Dakota's baked goods (she aspires to have her own show on Food Network) and give each other knitting advice and working out their life problems with each knot they work into their projects.

This is one of those books that is so multifaceted in terms of characters that it's hard to describe because so many stories are being told at the same time. If you asked me about any of the characters, I'd be able to tell you about her storyline, but it's hard for me to write about each of them. I got sucked into the book over two days, and it was one of those books. You know, the kind you read on the subway and don't realize that you're about to arrive at the end of your commute. You hurry to stuff the book back into your bag, but almost reluctantly do so, even though you know you have to get off at this subway stop or else you'll be late for work.

The women, of different levels of knitting skills, are also in different stages of life, and realizing that life doesn't always work out the way you expect. Georgia's boyfriend got her pregnant twelve years ago, and is suddenly back in her life, trying to become the awesome father to her daughter, and she's resentful. Is she resentful because of what happend in the past or the way James is practically buying his daughter's affection?

There's also Peri, the brilliant almost-law school student who chooses to leave her perfect GPA and LSAT scores behind to design pocketbooks. Then there's Lucie, who decides to have a baby by herself at the age of forty because she wants one, man in her life or no man in her life. There's also Anita, widowed after a loving marriage to a wonderful man. She was Georgia's first client and sponsored her knitting store with a loan. Anita now finds that she might want to start dating again at the age of 72 while her sons are trying to get her to move in with them, thus taking away her independence. How about KC, who loses her job in publishing and decides to go to law school in her middle age (doing a reverse of what I did). And last, there's Darwin, working on her dissertation for a Ph.D. in feminism; she's studying the knitting club, trying to understand why these women cling to an old fashioned skill that does nothing for their advancement in the modern world. She's trying so hard not to be the stereotypical "good Asian girl" that it's actually hurting her because her husband is so good and kind to her, despite the bumps in their young marriage.

Chances are, with so many different characters, you're bound to relate to at least one of them in some way. I enjoy knitting and baking, which are mentioned quite frequently, as they are always present in the club meetings, so I felt so cozy while reading this book. I actually curled up in bed on Friday night to finish reading it. The only reason this book didn't get a higher rating is because of the last 80 pages of the book. I'm not a fan of killing off a character just for the sake of drama and a life lesson, because it's not like there wasn't death present earlier in the book (Anita's husband passing away).

Still, even with that unnecessary death, I would highly recommend this book, especially to those who enjoy knitting!

Fairest

Author: Gail Carson Levine
Published: September 2006 (HarperCollins)
Category: YA Fantasy
Rating: 6/10

This is my first book by Gail Carson Levine, although I have watched the movie version of Ella Enchanted. Fairest is a twist on the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Aza was abandoned as a baby in an Ayorthaian inn. The kindly innkeepers took her in as one of their own. However, her roots weren't a secret, as Aza's appearance was extraordinary... in a bad way. Aza wishes she were slender and delicately beautiful. Instead, she draws the stares of inn patrons since peole think her real mother must've been a hippo. She's clumsy, wide, and tall.

However, her most beautiful attribute is her voice, and that's important in the kingdom of Ayortha, which has traditions deeply rooted in singing. Besides having a lovely singing voice, Aza is a good mimic, composer, and has the ability to throw her voice, a skill she calls "illusing." Unfortunately, illusing gets her into a lot of trouble.

Aza accompanies the Duchess of Olixo to the wedding of King Oscaro to Ivi of Kyrria when the duchess's usual companion takes ill. While there, she meets the king's nephew, Prince Ijori, who is kind to her despite the way she looks. Queen Ivi also discovers Aza's talent for illusing and decides to make Aza her lady-in-waiting so she can illuse for the queen. The queen doesn't care much for the Ayorthaian tradition of singing all the time and doesn't think her voice is very good, so she has Aza do it for her instead and lip syncs when it's her turn to sing at gatherings. Aza always worries if she's doing something wrong, but she finds that she has no choice as Ivi threatens to revoke her family's innkeeping license if she doesn't illuse. Even worse, Aza's developing friendship with Prince Ijori is shadowed by her duplicity as Ijori talks about how he can't stand people who aren't truthful.

An accident befalls the king, placing him in a coma, and Ivi becomes the ruler in his stead. She quickly steps on lots of toes, disbanding the advisory council and ignoring the country's need in a drought. The subjects begin resenting Ivi and Aza as well, since they see her as a schemer who somehow snuck her way into the queen's confidence. However, Ivi isn't taking advice from Aza. She has a magical mirror given to her by the fairy Lucinda.

When Aza and Ivi's illusing act is revealed, Aza is blamed for everything, including Ivi's poor decisions as a leader. People believe she is part ogre (due to her large and ungainly appearance), and has inherited their talent for persuasion. Sadly, Prince Ijori turns his back on Aza, as all fairytale princes tend to do (look at Prince Char of Ella Enchanted or Prince Henry from Ever After) when the girl they supposedly care for is accused of something they didn't really do. Before being placed in the dungeon, Aza drinks some of Ivi's beauty potion (provided by the mirror) and it turns her into the beautiful girl she's always wanted to be. Ivi has Aza removed from the dungeon by having a guardsman pretend to help her, although he has orders to kill her (like in Snow White). The guardsman can't bring himself to kill Aza, so he brings her to the gnomes, who will give her a place to live.

The gnomes have never been bothered by Aza's appearance when they stayed at her family's inn, and Aza finds that she's very comfortable living in their caves, which is rare for a human. It turns out that gnomes can learn to illuse, something Aza has never been able to teach to another person, and they figure out that Aza is part gnome, which accounts for her odd appearance (namely the wideness) and the way she's comfortable in their homes.

Ivi winds up poisoning Aza with an apple and Aza winds up inside the magic mirror with the odious creature that lives within. The mirror actually carries a curse, which would trap the person using the mirror's beauty potions inside the mirror upon her death. The creature Skulni is trying to get Ivi to kill herself so he can be released from his prison. Aza manages to break the mirror and the curse, returning her spirit to her body, also finding that Ijori is in the cave with all the gnomes. He's come to his senses and his entirely apologetic about his earlier jerkiness. If her weren't a prince, I wouldn't have forgiven him!

The king awakens from his coma and finds out about all the problems that have resulted from Ivi's rule. He truly loves her, but knows that she can not be allowed the chance to rule again, so he exiles her to a distant palace and abdicates his throne for Ijori so he can join his wife in exile. Of course, Aza and Ijori marry, as he loves her for being her and she doesn't need any beauty potion to make him love her.

Fairest was entertaining enough, but the main theme of the story (true beauty beneath the surface) got a bit mixed up in all the political jumble and teenage angst. Sometimes Ivi and Aza were friends and sometimes they weren't, making things weird and half-assed, like Levine was just trying to find a reason to throw Ijori and Aza together. Aza broke out of her character when she got all bitchy with the tailor, who purposely messed up her order because of the disrespectful decisions Ivi was making for their country. I know that Aza did it because she didn't want the tailor throne into prison, but she was too pleased with herself in the end. She wasn't pleased that she prevented the unjust prison sentence; she was pleased because she was going to have pretty gowns.

I really couldn't enjoy this book as much as I could because I couldn't like the main character. I disliked Aza with all her "My life sucks because I'm not pretty" and "Woe is me." Nothing she did redeemed her in my eyes. Even while being "ugly" (I doubt she was really as ugly as she made herself out to be), she was very self centered and figured that she really wasn't remarkable or beautiful beneath her outward appearance.

Amber

Author: Lauren Royal
Published: July 2001 (Signet)
Category: Historical Romance
Series: Jewel Trilogy #3
Rating: 6/10

This is from Lauren Royal's first trilogy, and set in England's Restoration period. It was refreshing to read a historical romance set in England, although I do love my regencies!

Kendra Chase is the last sibling in her family to be married. Her older brothers have been parading suitors to their home ad nauseum and her eldest brother has declared she must choose a husband by the end of the summer or he would do it for her. While traveling home from London, Kendra and her family's public coach (their own coach suffered a broken wheel) is halted by a highwayman. He cuts a rather romantic figure, and robs only the Puritan on board and lets everyone else goes, but curiously, he says the Chase brothers are his friends.

Soon after that heist, Kendra goes out riding without an escort and finds herself heading towards the spot where the robbery took place. She comes across the highwayman's props (hats and pipes), figuring out how he made it appear like he had 20 men with guns as backup on a nearby hill. And then the highwayman shows up, this time without the black outfit, mask, and periwig. The handsome man is actually Patrick "Trick" Caldwell, and he asks for Kendra's assistance in stowing his props before it rains. Of course, with rain comes the romance required cottage where the two must take refuge lest they be soaked and catch the ague. While the two are talking, Kendra drops her glass of wine and they try to soak the stain in water before it sets. The front door bursts open and Kendra's brothers, Jason and Ford, come in, asking Trick to help them locate their sister, who went out riding earlier unaccompanied.

When they discover the two together in a bedroom, with Kendra's skirt raised by her knees, disregarding the bowl of water, they insist on Trick marrying Kendra by special license, as she has been compromised. They didn't want to hear anything of her protests of innocence, and Trick figured that he had to get married sooner or later to produce the requisite heir, so why not get married to this interesting, beautiful woman?

So they're married and Kendra can't really believe she's married to the romantic highwayman, even though she's miffed that he's actually the Duke of Amberley. She never wanted to marry a duke because she didn't want to be addressed as "Your grace." Trick also has not revealed the true reasons for his side job, as he has a thriving shipping business, built off of his father's smuggling fleet. He also avoids telling his wife about how wealthy they really are, making her think he must continue robbing the horrid Puritans to support his estate, especially the orphanage full of children that Kendra really care about.

There was one really big problem with the story. Kendra is highly alarmed by the results of their wedding night. She didn't know that it hurts the first time, as her mother passed away years ago and her sisters-in-law didn't think to explain the mechanics to her. So she freaks out and says that they don't "fit together" and refuses to engage in further sexual adventures. Trick turns out to be an extremely patient man, saying that they won't do any of those things anymore, but he puts his foot down that they will continue to sleep in the same bed together.

In the end, it comes to trust. Kendra has to overcome her fear of trusting Trick in regards to his highwayman career and his claims that it hurt because it was the first time and they'll fit together. Trick is robbing Puritans to investigate a counterfeiting scheme, and King Charles swore him to secrecy regarding the true reason behind the robberies. He made Trick choose between his loyalty to his king and his love of his wife. Trick chooses to avoid treason and keeps his secret from Kendra.

As always, he regrets not revealing everything to Kendra when he's arrested and sentenced to hang. King Charles helps Trick though, faking the mysterious highwayman's death so there will be no connection between that dead man and the living Duke of Amberley.

There's also a side story that doesn't really have anything to do with the counterfeiting investigation, where Kendra and Trick journey to Scotland for his mother's funeral. They solve a mystery there too, which almost resulted in death for Trick and Kendra when she didn't trust him yet again.

The story would've been better without the Scotland side story. I appreciate that Royal was trying to fill in some of Trick's background, but it felt out of place to me, like it should've been in its own book. And there was far too much of the "You have to trust me" business going on. I know relationships are all about trust, but when it's the only thing being batted around in terms of story development and the cause for all the strife, it gets tiring.

Whisper Always

Author: Rebecca Hagan Lee
Published: October 1999 (Jove)
Category: Historical Romance
Rating: 6/10

This isn't my least favorite Rebecca Hagan Lee, but it was probably the most exasperating one I've read. I really enjoyed her Free Fellows League series and most of her Marquess of Templeton series, so I figured I'd give her even older titles a try.

Cristina Fairfax is the jewel of the Season, drawing lots of attention at her coming-out, and a lot of that attention is probably due to the hideous gown her mother made her wear. Apparently, her evil mother made a bet that the Crown Prince of Hapsburg-Lorraine would notice Cristina even if she were dressed in sack cloth. Cristina did catch the eye of Blake Ashford, Earl of Lawrence, though. He found her in a retiring room trying to cut off the satin roses covering the back of her dress and offered to help her remove them to spare her injuring herself. When I read about that charming meeting, I thought that this was going to be a bang-up, awesome romance.

But then Cristina's mother auctions her daughter's hand in marriage (or something close to that) at the equivalent to a swingers' auction, and the Crown Price Rudolf is the winner. Blake manages to rescue Cristina from her ordeal and substitutes a red-headed prostitute in her place. He winds up having Cristina as a guest in his home while she recovers from the beatings she received in her mother's home and the chill she caught while trying to escape from her buyer. I realized that Cristina was sort of suffering from an evil mother like Cinderella.

While under Blake's care, the sparks fly between them and whoops! Cristina's preggers! Now, Blake had a tragic first marriage to an evil woman named Meredith, who committed adultery on their wedding night. Blake decided not to annul the marriage because his wife threatened to lie to the judge, saying that Blake had his way with her before marriage, and they'd have to endure a divorce. Because Blake and his father were heavily involved in politics, the public scandal wouldn't do. Conveniently, Meredith died in a riding accident, without giving birth to another man's child and Blake swore off marriage.

Then one of my more hated romance plot devices sprang up. Blake has the special license and wedding ring in his pocket when he sees that his aunt sent out a betrothal announcement about him and Cristina. He's furious that she jumped the gun like that and said some things about having to view his penance across the breakfast table for the next few decades. Of course, Cristina heard him say that and refused to marry him, and decided to withold the news of her pregnancy from him. Of course, Blake also doesn't mention that he'd already wanted to marry her before all of this hullaballoo started.

Cristina runs off to Vienna under the protection of Prince Rudolf, hinting that she'd become his mistress after giving birth. Months later, Blake finds out about the baby and realizes that he loves Cristina, and chases after her to Vienna. They are reunited. Joy! Happiness! And they're married! More joy! More happiness!

But then in a Jane Eyre moment, when their marriage is being publicly announced, Blake's supposedly-dead wife appears. Meredith really is evil and tries killing the happy couple, which only resulted in Cristina having a stillbirth. In order to take care of the messy business with his wife, Blake sends Cristina off to her father in New York City. He takes their dead son to his family estate in England for a proper burial because he didn't want their child to rest on foreign land and bring him to be with his family. It would've been nice for Blake to tell Cristina that, because it left their relationship hanging.

A year later, she's about to consider marrying an American (who turns out to be a complete asshole) when Blake shows up to claim her yet again. I was getting tired of them at this point. Do you want to be together or not? They're reunited and Blake gets to be all manly when Cristina's trying to reject the American suitor, who calls Cristina a whore as he knows about what happened in Vienna. Too bad Blake pretty much confirms the American's words when he takes Cristina to his hotel room upstairs right after he makes the guy apologize. They're reunited at last. Joy! Happiness! They stay in bed for two days. Joy! Happiness! Preggers again. Uh oh.

Unfortunately, Blake has left YET AGAIN without doing the proper thing, since he has to get an official divorce from Meredity and promises to be back in two months. He doesn't know he's about to become a father again, and gets ambushed by some thugs Meredith hired. The divorce hearing gets delayed while he recovers, but everything goes through all right. When he goes to bring Meredith the news, he gives her the settlement money, letting her believe the packet contains the divorce papers, which he knows she'll burn (because she's crazy). However, he doesn't realize she's crazy enough to throw herself into the fire to retrieve the burning money. I was really happy about that because then he wouldn't have to keep giving Meredith 30,000 pounds per year for her settlement. Plus, I didn't want her doing another Bertha Rochester to Blake and Cristina again.

Cristina travels to London against Blake's wishes because he hasn't returned in two months for her. She gets upset when Blake doesn't show up in response to her message that she's in town, and then finds out about Meredith dying. Yet again, the woman has foiled them because Blake can't marry her for another year because of the period of mourning. But I guess the year of mourning doesn't really apply if you don't care about what society thinks, because Blake FINALLY marries Cristina.

This romance was way too over-the-top for me. They're together unofficially, then together officially, then not together, then together unofficially, then officially, then not together, and then together unofficially and finally officially! They're in England, then Vienna, then in America! Decide if you're together and stop moving around so much! Too frustrating! I want to be relaxed and cozy when I read my historical romances!

The Tiger's Apprentice

Author: Laurence Yep
Published: April 2003 (Harper Collins)
Category: YA Fantasy
Rating: 5/10

Tom Lee is an orphan living with his grandmother in San Francisco. He's the odd kid out, as his grandmother is supposedly a witch and kids pick on Tom and make fun of her. Tom, as a precocious preteen, takes each insult to heart and gets into lots of fights.

Tom's grandmother, Mrs. Lee is actually a witch, one of the Guardians who take care of a phoenix egg. If the phoenix hatches, the person controlling it could use the phoenix to control the world. When Tom gets home one day, one of his grandmother's former Guardian students is visiting. It's Mr. Hu, and he's actually a tiger. In a Men in Black moment, Mr. Hu explains that lots of creatures like him are living amongst humans, particularly in San Francisco!

While having tea, the house is attacked and Mrs. Lee sacrifices herself to give Tom and Mr. Hu time to escape with the phoenix egg. Tom becomes a petulant kid (like Harry Potter in Order of the Phoenix) and says he doesn't want to become a Guardian and would rather live in an orphanage than stay with a MAGICAL TALKING TIGER WHO CAN KICK ASS.

Mr. Hu calls upon some friends to help protect the phoenix egg, one being Monkey from Chinese mythology and Yep's Dragons of the Lost Sea series. They also recruit a dragon from Goblin Square, a magical place hidden in San Fran, very much like Diagon Alley. It was a bit of a ripoff of Diagon Alley, what with the bricks disappearing to provide an entry to the square.

Then the phoenix egg is lost because of Tom's stupidity and they have to retrieve it. There's a lot of arguing and I felt that the story suffered because there was no good balance between narrative and dialogue. It was either all one or the other, without enough blending of the two. The book was really short too, but I can't judge the book based on that, as it is a YA title. It was kind of eh to me. Tom annoyed me too much and not enough happened to make me want to continue reading the story.

The Duel

Author: Barbara Metzger
Published: February 2005 (Signet)
Category: Regency Romance
Quote of Choice: Ah, the poor lass, wed to a nobleman of ancient lineage, with four houses, more money than the prince—although everyone has more money than the prince, these days—and looks good enough to turn the eye of a blind woman. My, how she will suffer.
Rating: 9/10

Ian, Earl of Marden, made the mistake of sleeping with the wrong married woman. He finds himself involved in a duel with the offended husband, Lord Paige. Because Ian was in the wrong for being indiscreet, he planned on shooting into the air rather than at the body. However, Lord Paige was a coward and shot at Ian when his back was still turned. Ian still fired into the air, but injured an innocent bystander for all his niceness.

He brings the boy, Troy Renslow, back to his townhouse for medical care. He manages to tell Ian that his sister Attie (Athena) and someone named Roma can't be left by themselves. Ian, being completely guilty about what happened rushes to bring the boy's sister and nursemaid to his home. However, it turns out that Roma is an ill-behaved mutt with a penchant for chewing off boot tassles, such as the ones on Ian's boots. Because Attie is so petite, Ian thinks she's still in the schoolroom. Once he finds out she's actually nineteen, he realizes the potential scandal at hand.

Ian tries to fix the hole he keeps digging deeper for himself by asking his mother and sister to stay with Attie in his bachelor pad. Circumstances prevent them from making the journey right away, so Ian gets his best friend Carswell to dress up as a large woman. It's hilarious in that exuberant Mrs. Doubtfire kind of way.

While all this is happening, Attie is being pursued by an unwanted suitor, a Mr. Wiggs, who is actually Troy's tutor. He's a reverend without a parish and wants to marry Attie for her dowry and her connections as the sister of a viscount. He's an odious little man, preaching on Attie's careless behavior regarding her reputation, and he's willing to overlook her transgressions and continue courting her if she leaves Troy's bedside right away. Attie shoots Wiggy down rather smartly, as there never was an official suit or relationship to her anyways. He wasn't so clean himself either, because he takes up with the notorious Lady Paige after his dismissal, and all of London knows that she's a big tart.

When the rest of Ian's family arrives, he is pushed by his mother and sister to marry Attie for the honorable reason and for the way everyone has noticed Ian and Attie's attraction to one another. Ian has to spend time convincing Attie that he wants to marry her for more than just the honorable reason because she doesn't want to marry someone who doesn't really want her. He eventually comes through, but when Attie finds out the truth that Ian shot Troy (by accident), she denies him the marriage bed. Everyone comes together to get to the bottom of the duel-gone-awry, discovering that Ian's shot embedded itself into the tree, so the shot that hit Troy was from another pistol.

This was regency romance at its finest. I loved it and will be reading more Barbara Metzger in the future. Thankfully she's got a large backlist.

Tongue in Chic

Author: Christina Dodd
Published: February 6, 2007 (Signet)
Category: Romantic Suspense
Rating: 8/10

This book is an excellent example of being able blend lots of elements together well, without losing any of them.

Natalie Szarvas is trying to steal a painting from her grandmother's former residence. Well, it's not really stealing if your grandmother intended for yout o have it, right? Natalie's mother is suffering from cancer and in order to pay for the treatments, she's got to find this valuable painting in her grandfather's house.... only it's no longer her grandfather's house.

In the midst of her search for the painting in the dark mansion, the lights come on and Devlin Fitzwilliam, the new owner, surprises Natalie enough for her to strike her head against a the tooth of a stone lion and knock herself out. When she comes to, Devlin, a terribly handsome man, is administering to her head injury and offering her a Honesdale vase for her to vomit in. Being an artist and knowledgeable in art history, she refuses to vase. He's already figured that she's a thief, and a rather inept one at that, but he asks her what she's doing in his house. She comes up with the excuse of amnesia and says her name is Meadow (her real middle name). He one-ups her by claiming that she's his estranged wife. Hilarity ensues.

At the same time, Devlin is focusing on turning the old mansion into a luxury boutique hotel. It's in a very traditional southern town and some of the natives are against this change. He's had to deal with sabotage on his property, and he discovers that Meadow is not the only one looking for a painting. Someone is also trying to murder Meadow, setting up accidents for her. Is it about the painting or the hotel opening?

While pretending to be husband and wife, Devlin falls in love with Meadow. He loves the way she gets along with everybody, charming his employees and the old guard (the other mansion owning geezers in town) that is so opposed to him. She's attracted to him as well, but is afraid that he might turn into someone like her grandfather, the previous owner of the house. Speaking of the grandfather, there's a reunion of long-lost family for Meadow and for Devlin. Roberto Bartolini, from Dodd's Trouble in High Heels is actually half brother to Devlin.

Tongue in Chic was really good, very entertaining to the end. It was steamier than High Heels and normally that's not something I use to qualify a book. It's just that the steamy parts of High Heels were eh, and I think the book would've been better without them. Since I find I enjoy Dodd's contemporary fiction, I've decided to give her historicals (my preferred style of romance) a try and have picked up The Prince Kidnaps a Bride.

Lost in Temptation

Author: Lauren Royal
Published: July 2005 (Signet)
Category: Regency Romance
Series: Sweet Temptations Trilogy #1
Rating: 9/10

Hurrah, a new author! And she writes in trilogies! The Sweet Temptations Trilogy tells the stories of the three Chase sisters, in their early 20s, and ready for marriage. Due to a series of deaths in their family, they've been in continuous mourning for a few years and have not been participating in the Season. Lost in Temptation tells the story of Alexandra, eldest of the three girls. Since their parents and oldest sibling (the heir) have passed away, their older brother Griffin is now the Marquess of Cainewood, and bears the unofficial title of "matchmaking mama."

This was a really refreshing historical romance in the way the siblings banter with each other. Because they are so familiar with each other and raised themselves, there's a very modern feel to the way they tease each other. If they were in 2007, I could see all the smacking and "nyah!" stuff going on.

Griffin was not prepared to become the marquess, and as a measure of respect to his older brother Charles, he's trying to save the newly planted vineyards on the estate (it was Charles's pet project before he passed away). He calls on his longtime friend, Tristan Nesbitt, now Marquess of Hawkridge. Alexandra has had a crush on Tris since she was a child, and he's finally reentered her life. The "falling in love with your brother's best friend" plot device is one of my favorites, because it lends to hilarious overprotective older brother incidents.

So Alexandra and Tris are attracted to each other, but it can't work out that easily, can it? Alexandra's younger sisters are constantly coming up with ways to leave the two together unattended, and kisses are stolen, but Tris says he won't marry Alexandra, or anyone. Apparently, there's a scandal following Tris. He only became Marquess of Hawkridge due to the death of his uncle. The circumstances around his death are a little suspicious. Because of his tarnished reputation, Tris is shunned by Society despite not being convicted. Oh, and Tris sleepwalks, so he's afraid that he may have killed his uncle in his sleep. And the sleepwalking? It gets Alexandra compromised, so they have to marry after all.

The men engage in some fisticuffs because someone couldn't keep his hands off someone's sister, and after that night-before-the-wedding fight, Griffin encounters Alexandra baking some traditional Chase family sweets in the middle of the night. At her request, he has to uncomfortably, and hilariously, tell her what to expect on her wedding night. That is partially why her marrying Griffin's best friend is so entertaining. It gets even more hilarious during the actual wedding night when Alexandra is puzzled over how everything isn't happening the way Griffin described and Tris keeps telling her to "stop mentioning Griffin!"

Everything ties up neatly because Alexandra solves the mystery of Tris's uncle's death. It was a bit drawn out and overdramatic at times, and I could see it coming from a mile away (this is why the book isn't a 10), but I will definitely be reading more Lauren Royal. It was truly lovely. I've already got a copy of the second book in the trilogy, Tempting Juliana.

The Raven Prince

Author: Elizabeth Hoyt
Published: November 2006 (Warner Forever)
Category: Historical Romance
Quote of Choice: You don't have to prove how manly you are by catching the ague.
Rating: 5/10

The category says that this is a historical romance, but some parts of The Raven Prince bordered on erotica. The back copy hints at it, saying that the widow Anna Wren will take her employer, Edward de Raaf, the Earl of Swartingham, as her lover, and he won't know it's her. Apparently, she finds out that he's going to London to visit a brothel and follows him there. She becomes a temporary whore behind a mask (apparently, bored wives of the ton like to have a bit of fun and wear masks so their reputations are wrecked) and receives pleasure she has never known, slaking her womanly desires.

There's not much to the story; it's truly historical fluff. Hoyt injects a little blackmail for some conflict beyond the "I can't believe you thought I was a real whore" plot line. After all of Edward's lust for Anna, he turns into a jerk when he finds out it was truly Anna behind the mask. He's already enjoyed her non-physical company, so he gets over his incorrect assumption and proposes marriage to Anna. But then Anna gets taken in by the blackmail and there's a little wild goose chase and a sloppy duel.

The dialogue is entertaining at times, what with their relationship as secretary and employer. Edward's last two male secretaries ran off and Anna doesn't find Edward frightening at all. She sees Edward for himself, beyond the brusque manners and smallpox scars. While the relationship is interesting (until Anna decides to pretend to be Edward's whore), it can't make up for the lack of a strong plot.

The Paid Companion

Author: Amanda Quick
Published: May 2004 (Putnam)
Category: Historical Romance/Suspense
Rating: 10/10

This has to be my favorite Amanda Quick title. It was sitting in my TBR pile forever. I was so foolish to put off for so long, and I was really sad when it was over.

Elenora Lodge has been kicked out of her home. Her stepfather has squandered her inheritance on an investment scam and he died of an apoplexy when he discovered he'd been swindled. She sets off for London with the master plan of going into trade, opening her own book circulation shop. All she has to do is become a lady's companion to build up some capital. Easier said than done.

Arthur Lancaster, Earl of St. Merryn is well known for his keen investments and his cold nature. His betrothed ran away with another man, and he didn't chase after them. Instead, he lounged in his club and played cards for most of the night (and won, to boot). He made a comment in passing that night, saying that the next time he sought a bride, he would go to an agency providing ladies' companions, because all the qualities in a good wife would be found in a lady's companion, and he'd have the ability to interview her without all the dancing about required in a traditional courtship. After a year, this comment has faded away, but Arthur is now in need of a wife.

In order to investigate the mysterious death of his uncle, Arthur has to be in London during the Season, but doesn't want to deal with the matchmaking mamas and their grasping daughters, eager to snap up an earl. He figures he's got to get someone to act as his fiancée and therefore deflect the attention of the marriage mart. Of course, none of the mousy companions he interviews are good enough. Then Elenora comes barreling through the door, complaining about her days interviews with drunkards and lecherous men. She's the one.

Despite being the practical and levelheaded man he's known to be, Arthur can't resist the attraction to smart and refreshing Elenora. Even though she's pretending to be his betrothed, she cares for his household (able to conveniently reside there because a widowed cousin of Arthur's is in residence as well, and in on the charade), even defending lower servants from a scheming butler. This butler attempts to blackmail Elenora with his knowledge that she's a hired companion, not a real fiancée. She stands up to him and trusts that Arthur will take her side, which of course, he does. Because he's smart and wonderful. He is a logical man and Elenora is a logical woman. No ridiculous blackmail episodes in this book!

Arthur slowly realizes that he truly picked well at the agency when Elenora shares her opinions on his investigation into his uncle's death. When they're alone, either driving through Hyde Park, or conversing in the library in the evening, they have lovely conversations and the banter is amusing. Some ravishing goes on, but the sweet part is, Arthur tries proposing to Elenora for real later, and she tells him he doesn't have to marry a penniless fake when he has his pick of the Season's finest misses. He tells her he knew she was the one the day he saw her in the agency and he wouldn't have ravished her unless he intended to marry her. And the ton already thinks he's weird, so he should do something unconventional in selecting his wife anyways. Awwww.

The background to the romance is the murder investigation. Quick ties in people from Arthur's past, including the woman who jilted him. She and her husband become pawns in the murderer's game. Of course, Elenora gets kidnapped and Arthur rescues her. Oh, and the murderer is trying to build a laser in an underground laboratory. Minor details. Something to do with alchemy.

To me, this was the perfect romance novel. Good story, good dialogue, not vapid, and highly entertaining.

Trouble in High Heels

Author: Christina Dodd
Published: August 1, 2006 (Signet)
Category: Romantic Suspense
Rating: 6/10

Brandi Michaels is a lawyer. A bodacious one. ::makes the hourglass hand motions:: But she wants to be recognized for her legal talents, not for the way she looks in a dress. In fact, she dresses as conservatively as possible for work, to the extent of wearing boobie-mashing bras.

To understand Brandi, you have to look at her childhood. She had a disgusting, arrogant ass of a father, who ditched her mom, Tiffany for his cliche of a secretary. Brandi's lawyer father is known for his frequent wife upgrades. He also thought Brandi was a useless child, taking ballet and gymnastics classes. Brandi vowed that she would make her father proud of her, and decided to become a lawyer so he would take her seriously.

Fast forward to the future, and Brandi has just moved to Chicago to join her doctor fiance. After he fails to make an appearance at her new home, she finally hears from him. Apparently, he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and they'd just gotten hitched in Vegas. The ex-fiance claimed that it was all Brandi's fault for finishing her law degree in Tennessee rather than moving to Chicago to be with him when he moved.

To get back at him, Brandi pawns her engagement ring and plans to glam herself up, take advantage of her looks to snag a guy for one night of reckless passion. She finds that one night of passion in Roberto Bartolini, an Italian count who's also being accused of jewel theft. It also turns out that Brandi's new job is representing Roberto in this case. Oops. Now Brandi thinks she has to recuse herself from the case and ruin her legal career before it began. To top it off, Roberto insults a judge and he assigns the defendant to the 24-hour custody of his lawyer - Brandi. Now Brandi's coworkers at the law firm take her even less seriously.

She finds out that the leader of a Chicago jewel thief league wants Roberto to steal some gigantic diamond. He tells her he will never steal again, but she doesn't believe him. So we go into that "I don't trust you" game. Of course, she's wrong in her assumptions and creates a lot more trouble as a result of that mistake.

There was too much of the "I want to be taken seriously thing," and I don't enjoy the idea of doing things to please a father or ex-fiance, neither of whom would appreciate anything you did anyways. There wasn't enough time spent on building the relationship, unless you call Brandi's being annoyed at her client relationship-building.

The Kept Woman

Author: Susan Donovan
Published: June 2006 (St. Martin's Press)
Category: Romance
Rating: 6/10

This is one of those really fluffy reads for a summer day. Too bad it's the dead of winter here. I think I need cozier reads for this part of the year.

Poor Samantha Monroe is a hairstylist and single mom raising three kids ranging from rebellious teenager to toddler who refuses to use the potty. Her spineless husband left her right after getting her pregnant with the third child, realizing that he's gay and has to run off to pursue his glassblowing career. He also ducked out on over $50,000 worth of child support. Just when Samantha's life is at its worst, she gets an offer she can't refuse.

Playboy politician Jack Tolliver needs to clean up his image if he wants to run for US Senate. Apparently, he was caught "ogling a speaker's booty at a teachers' convention" and the female votership turned against him. His campaign manager, a client of Samantha's, proposes the plan to Jack. They will have Samantha pose as his fiancée and have them part ways amicably after the election. And of course, they'll compensate her very well.

Sometimes I felt like I was reading a Desperate Housewives episode. Jack was expressing how appalled he was over her three children. Within an extremely short period of time, he's accepted her family and friends! It all fell together too quickly. He changes from playboy to doting boyfriend in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, he's being a great father to the anti-potty wonder child and actually weaning him from diapers. It was unreal, even for a romance.

Then you toss in the over-the-top enemies. A lover scorned and an unstable ex-husband with a plan for blackmail. I thought both in the book was too much. Jack's ex-girlfriend has a political news show and her goal is to bring down Jack Tolliver because he embarrassed her at an awards show. But now he's on perfect behavior and ready to settle down with some hairdresser with three brats. The ex-husband decides to blackmail Samantha, threatening to reveal the nature of her relationship with Jack, even though it's real at that point. He knows this as well and demands that she pay up and break up with Jack for real.

At least Samantha wasn't a flake. She didn't get stupid until the end when she paid the blackmail money and wouldn't tell Jack what was wrong and why she suddenly wants to break up with him. That aggravated me to no end, and the truth came out on the news anyway, so the blackmail payoff was pointless!

Everything works out; love conquers all, blah blah. Jack Tolliver winds up winning because he's the only politician who owns up to the truth, always something appreciated by me. In a perfect world, the voters buy it, but you know it'd never fly in real life. I hate politics. Maybe that tainted my view of the book.

Storm Front

Author: Jim Butcher
Published: April 1, 2000 (Roc)
Category: Fantasy
Series: Dresden Files #1
Quote of choice: They say we wizards are subtle But believe you me, we've got nothing, nothing at all, on women.
Rating: 7/10

I've been watching The Dresden Files on the Scifi channel, and it's pretty good. The actor they picked to play Harry Dresden isn't too hard on the eyes either.

Harry Dresden is a wizard for hire. - not for parties though. He helps his clients with problems such as lost items and freelances for the police, solving crimes with a magical twist and therefore beyond the understanding of the regular cop. The world is a bit more understanding of magical beings. For example, a vampire runs a very fancy brothel/escort service, and Harry frequents a pub that caters to those who deal with magic.

The writing is great, and very descriptive without being tedious. I found myself wanting to know more about Harry - what's his workshop like, what ingredients go into a potion, does he wear boxers or briefs? Butcher answers the first two questions, and I don't remember reading an answer to the third. I don't think I would've missed something like that.

Anyways, Harry has been called in by his Chicago Police Dept. pseudo-friend, Lt. Murphy. She's a scrappy officer who's worked hard to get where she is, and doesn't intend to let anyone underestimate her because she's a woman. Sometimes her toughness got annoying, like how Josh tells me that I get ultra defensive when he isn't even criticizing me. The crime involves a dark wizard performing a powerful spell to kill two people from a distance, which makes him very powerful, or completely insane for taking the risk.

Dresden determines that lightning storms are the source of the dark wizard's power, but his investigation is impeded by obstacles set by the murderer. How about a demon or some gigantic scorpions?

Throw in a love potion gone awry, a talking skull, and a death sentence from the High Council hanging over Dresden's head, and you have an amusing, dark humored story suitable for filling your spare time. It shows promise, and I do love series!

Hinterland

Author: James Clemens
Published: November 7, 2006 (Roc)
Category: Fantasy
Series: Godslayer Chronicles #2
Rating: 9/10

A satisfying sequel to Shadowfall. If a series is that good, I won't take a break in between the books.

In an attempt to bridge the rift between Tashijan, led by Argent Ser Fields and Chrismferry, led by God-Regent Tylar Ser Noche (he gets his Shadowknight status back after the events of Shadowfall), Fields plans an elaborate ceremony to bestow another Shadowcloak and black diamond-pommeled sword upon Tylar. They hope that the ceremony, which invites the Hands of other gods, will do much in uniting Myrillia against the threat of the Cabal (the faction trying to free gods from their bonds to the land, willingly and unwillingly).

However, an unnatural snowstorm is ripping through Myrillia, seeming to head straight for Tashijan. After Tylar's party arrives at the Citadel of the Shadowknights, the storm locks everyone inside. Unfortunately for everyone there, the storm is not the only thing to worry about. From the end of Shadowfall, we see the growing threat hiding beneat the Citadel; it's a dark army of zombie-like Shadowknights. They were kidnapped and poisoned with dark Graces, and over centuries, this army has grown rather massive. It created lots of opportunities for action of the horror movie type.

While Tylar pursues a lead to figure out the source of the ice storm, more information is revealed about the Godsword, more importantly, a way to make it more powerful. His party enters the Hinterland (unsettled land with rogue gods roaming), hoping to kill the storm before it destroys Tashijan.

At the end of Hinterland, Tylar and Kathryn's romance seems to start up again, and things seem to be on the mend, with the remaining gods uniting with Tylar and the Shadowknights against the Cabal.

Of course, the last couple pages introduce a new twist to the saga with a Frankenstein-like god creature. I'm frustrated now because I won't find out what it is until the third book, but there's no information on when it's going to be published!

Shadowfall

Author: James Clemens
Published: July 2005 (Roc)
Category: Fantasy
Series: Godslayer Chronicles #1
Rating: 9/10

Wow.

It's not very often that the start of another epic fantasy series starts off so well. I could not put this book down. The book is complex, with a lot of characters, but never gets bogged down in details and keeps you in suspense at the same time. I found myself flipping ahead several pages sometimes to make sure that certain characters didn't die. The characters are extremely well developed despite there being so many, and you can really see the way they interact with each other, even without direct dialogue between them. Clemens introduces a new world with a lot of structure and details, but I wasn't confused or overwhelmed by all the information. I found it very well put together, rich in storyline, characters, and descriptions.

At the time of the sundering, the home of the gods was split, and the gods fell to Myrillia, as portions of their former selves. Each god was split into three parts: one falling to the naether, one rising to the aether, and the last took physical form to live among the people of Myrillia. Those gods that did not form a bond to the land went mad, keeping to unsettled lands called the Hinterlands. In settled areas, gods helped society grow through guidance and the sharing of his or her humours, the eight bodily fluids (sounds gross, but you get over it), which carry the god's Graces (power). They are (in order of importance): blood, seed or menses, sweat, tears, saliva, phlegm, yellow bile (err... pee), and black bile (uh... poo). Once you get over the fact that all of these things are valuable, with magical and alchemical properties, it's very interesting how they can work together. For example, black bile is a nullifier of Grace, so if you had an object rich in dark Graces and you didn't want it to affect you, you can smear it in black bile and keep it contained. Don't worry, people don't go throwing around bodily fluids willy nilly.

Aside from the gods, there is an organization called the Shadowknights, warriors trained to bring justice, wearing shadow cloaks blessed in Graces that allow the knights to move about unseen in shadows. They are usually assigned to serve a particular god, and if not, they reside in Tashijan, the Citadel of the Shadowknights. Tylar de Noche used to be one of these knights, but his title was stripped from him when he was involved in some scandal (it was a setup and he took the fall for someone else). He was sold into slavery for a few years, where his body was broken again and again, leaving him a hunched, limping man at the fringes of society. One night, he witnessed an attack on the god Meeryn, seeing a naethryn beast slay her. After all had settled, Tylar went to the dying god's side and comforted her as she passed away. Before she died, she granted all her Graces on Tylar, and connected him to her naethryn third. By having the shadowy beast reside within Tylar, his body was healed, and he found that all of his humours carried godly Graces. He was also accused of murdering Meeryn, and was branded the Godslayer.

The Meeryn-naethryn beast can be called out of Tylar's body by breaking any of his bones, and when the creature emerges, Tylar's form reverts back to his original broken self. After it deals with the immediate danger, it returns to Tylar's body and he is healed once again. I'm glad that Tylar is very responsible with this power, picking and choosing when he has no choice but to use the naethryn. I can't deal with stupid, arrogant heroes.

From there, Tylar embarks on a quest to clear his name, and figure out the mystery of why Meeryn was killed. Along the way, he picks up a motley crew of companions, including a thief who is much more than he appears, and Meeryn's Hand of Blood (the handmaiden responsible for collecting her blood).

While we follow Tylar's story, two other stories are being told. One is focused on Tashijan and the political turmoil within. A new faction of Shadowknights is rising, and they want to make Tashijan more independent of the gods. Corruption and mistrust is spreading through Myrillia, and it's even among the gods and Shadowknights. Tylar's former fiancée Kathryn is one standing against the new regime and is placed in the difficult position of taking the position of the man accused of slaying a god. The other follows Dart, an orphan training to become a god's Hand at a prestigious school. There is more to this girl than meets the eye, and someone wants her dead, even after she is chosen as the Hand of Blood to the first god of Myrillia. Everyone's story will intersect and weave together into a hugely rich book and I'm really happy I picked it up.

Eragon

Author: Christopher Paolini
Published: August 2003 (Knopf)
Category: YA Fantasy
Rating: 3/10

I was really looking forward to reading Eragon, but find that I was really disappointed. Oftentimes, I am sucked into a YA fantasy and am disappointed when the story ends in 208 pages. This is one of the reasons why I love Harry Potter; the writing is good and it lasts a loooong time. Eragon, on the other hand, was loooong and boooooring.

On his website, Paolini says, "For me, the time spent plotting out a novel is more important than the actual writing." His method is very apparent in his writing, what with the uninspiring dialogue and the plodding-along sort of exposition. It pains me, because I will ADMIT that the storyline has a lot of promise and it could have been tons better.

Yes, there were a lot of plot elements that seemed to come out of Lord of the Rings. For example, there were the a bunch of ringwraith-like creatures that even had flying steeds. The character of Murtagh, son of the Forsworn, reminds me of Aragorn in that reluctant/despised heir way. I even bet Murtagh is going to get involved with Nasuada, the daughter of the rebel leader. Oooo, forbidden love! And to get into the rebel base (hee hee, Star Wars), you had to go to this slab of stone next to a waterfall and say the magic words to go deep into the dwarf tunnels. Mines of Moria anyone?

The characters were lacking. Even Saphira the dragon, who should've been very interesting, was boring. Am I supposed to be in awe of her being a dragon and therefore overlook her staleness of personality? The most interesting characters were Angela the witch and her werecat, Solembum. It figures, as Angela was based off of Paolini's sister. That's how she was the character with the biggest sense of humor and seemed the most realistic. Everyone else seemed rather flat.

It is admirable that Eragon was written by a teenager, especially in today's world, where vocabulary and appreciation for books have declined with the rise of other entertainments. However, I think a lot of the book's popularity is due to the fact that its writer was so young when he wrote it, and not due to the quality of the writing.

I heard the movie isn't good either.

The Rest Falls Away

Author: Colleen Gleason
Published: January 2, 2007 (Signet)
Category: Paranormal Romance
Series: Gardella Vampire Chronicles #1
Quote of Choice: How does one address... the master of the vampire executioners? My lord? Your grace? Your Stakeness?
Rating: 6/10

The promotional literature for The Rest Falls Away said it was Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Pride and Prejudice and that was enough to make me want this book.

Victoria Gardella is about to make her debut to London society at the age of nineteen, two years later than scheduled due to mourning her father and grandfather. While her mother is prattling on about snaring the elusive Marquess of Rockley, Victoria is training to be a venator (vampire slayer) under her great aunt Eustacia's guidance. Apparently, a member of each generation of the Gardella family is called to service as a venator, and Victoria is the only one of hers. Oh, and the queen of the vampires can be slain only by a Gardella venator. No pressure!

There are some very interesting ideas at work here. For example, a person can choose not to follow their slaying path and their memories will be altered so they never knew about the legacy. With each generation that chooses to ignore the call, the one who eventually accepts will inherit the combined powers of those who declined before her. Since two Gardellas rejected before Victoria's turn, she's got the abilities of three slayers. However, it seems that her strength gets evened out to that of any other venator (Victoria is not the only one) by this amulet of sorts given at an induction ceremony. It's a small silver cross piercing and it enhances the venator's strength and innate abilities.

The romance was a bit lacking. The Marquess of Rockley does choose Victoria for his bride and they have a very sweet back story, since they knew each other in their childhoods. After that, the romance fades away into the background and Rockley turns out to be a tool, demanding that Victoria give up her profession because she is a marchioness. There are two other men involved. One is Maximilian Pesaro, another venator who resents Victoria's desire to marry and have a normal life in addition to slaying the undead at night. The other is Sebastian Vioget, a weird double agent (but not a vampire) who owns a tavern where the living and undead can mingle in peace. He seems to trade information for personal liberties upon Victoria's person. Their relationship is one more of lust than actual romance. I'm still not sure about Max though. Perhaps something will develop in later books.

This was a promising first novel. It wasn't great, but I'm hoping that Gleason's later books will improve with experience. There's great potential for the series because there are great ideas, but the characters definitely need work. Victoria was rather robotic, accepting her destiny without a fight. I understand that regency romance heroines are usually ahead of their time, but there was no fits or fears at all. Victoria was all business and it would've been better to see her more human. The characters need to connect to each other more. They felt very distant to me, but maybe that's the true solitary nature of a venator? I saw the likeness to Buffy, but there's no Pride and Prejudice here. It's more Buffy meets a random regency romance.

The next in the series, Rises the Night, comes out this June and I will give that one a try as well.

Lady Midnight

Author: Amanda McCabe
Published: May 2005 (Signet)
Category: Historical Romance
Rating: 8/10

Katerina Bruni is heiress apparent to her mother, Lucrezia Bruni, the most famous courtesan in Venice. Katerina has been raised and trained to follow in her mother's footsteps. However, before her first protector makes his first purchase, their yacht party gets swallowed in a sudden Mediterranean storm, leaving Katerina as its sole survivor. In a fever dream, her mother's spirit tells her to start a new life, because the life of a courtesan isn't so glamorous underneath the surface. She believes Katerina will find happiness in another life.

By using the jewelry she'd been wearing, Katerina starts a new life in England as Mrs. Kate Brown, widow of an English soldier. She finds a position as a governess in Yorkshire for Michael Lindley's younger sister Christina and his daughter Amelia. Michael is another tragic story. Due to his reckless ways, his wife died in a curricle (or something of that sort) race, turning him into a more mature and responsible man. Instead of indulging in the entertainments availabe in London, he chooses to stay in Yorkshire, working on his estate, and even helping out with the physical labor outside.

Kate finds that she loves Yorkshire and its moors. She's also very attracted to Michael, a man who is attracted to her as well, but not false like the men she knew in Venice, particularly the vile Julian Kirkwood. He was to be Kate's first protector, but he talked about her as though she was an object to possess and stalked her when she left her home. In contrast, Lindley was charming and enjoyed conversing with her, liking more than just her looks.

Both Kate and Michael have secrets: he about his wife's death, and she about her almost-career. This is the part where the book could go bad, where the characters are too chicken to tell each other the truth and wind up being angry at each other in the vein of, "How could you not tell me? Don't you trust me?" They both reveal the truth, and neither of them holds their past against the other. In fact, as each truth is revealed, the listener is understanding and supportive, showing how much they actually love each other.

There's a bit of darkness as well. Julian Kirkwood didn't die during that fateful yachting party. He was slow to recover, and when he finally awoke, he was still obsessed with his Katerina. He also believed her dead until they attend the same salon and he begins raving about his Katerina. Kate's secret past is then exposed, and Michael's sister-in-law freaks out because this will ruin the family name! And then Michael's mother freaks out as well, making Kate decide to run away. Thankfully, we don't have to deal with that plot device, as Lindley prevents this and convinces Kate to marry him (she turned him down the first time because of her past). However, they've got to figure out the Julian Kirkwood problem before they can have their happily ever after.

Kirkwood is very creepy, following Kate and the rest of the Lindleys back to Yorkshire. He even tries using Christina to get to Kate. I thought the dumbest thing Kate did was deciding not to tell Michael about seeing Kirkwood in the village.

I would've rated this a 9 or 10 if Kate and Christina weren't so reckless regarding Julian's presence in Yorkshire. And if the sister-in-law and dowager didn't freak out about Kate's almost-bad-past. It's not like she actually was a light skirt; she never got to that point in her previous life.

Juliet Dove, Queen of Love

Author: Bruce Coveille
Published: October 1, 2003 (Harcourt)
Category: YAFantasy
Rating: 7/10

It was hard to rate this one because I have to consider that this is a YA book. I've read two of Coville's other Magic Shop books, and my favorite was Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher. To me, that title was 100% fantasy. Juliet Dove pulls elements straight out of Greek myth and fairytales, specifically the one with the girl who's kind to a beggar in the forest and is gifted with jewels and roses spilling from her mouth whenever she spoke.

Juliet Dove is the shyest of the Dove children, often teased by her classmates to the point where she lashes out at them in brief moments of fiery words, earning her the nickname of "Killer." One day, she's running away from the girls who dislike her the most and stumbles upon Elives' Magic Shop. It's a wondrous place filled with magic supplies and genuine magical objects. The Mr. Elives we know from previous Magic Shop books isn't at the counter, but a strange woman is, and she gives an amulet to Juliet.

This amulet makes Juliet irresistible to boys and she finds she has a crowd of adoring fans following her everywhere. For a shy girl, this is very bad, and the attention of the girls who resent Juliet's new appeal is also unwanted. We later learn that this amulet was not a part of the magic shop's stock, and Mr. Elives is rather worried about any potential consequences of wearing it. He sends two of his helpers to guide Juliet, and they happen to be Jerome and Roxanne, talking rats from Jennifer Murdley's Toad, another Magic Shop book.

We later find out that the amulet is tied to the story of Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world and that goddess beauty contest that led to the whole Trojan War debacle. Athena and Hera have given their blessing to Juliet, saying that she has to find her way out of the story. Eris, the goddess of discord is still powerful on Earth while the other goddesses have faded away from reality, and she plans to use the amulet to create plenty of discord.

Aside from the goddess beauty contest, the book also draws on the myth of Cupid and Psyche, the lovers who are united at the end of the story. As a YA book, it does a good job of showing that Greek myths aren't old and dusty things that we'll never see after reading about them in history class.

Body Movers

Author: Stephanie Bond
Published: August 2006 (Mira)
Category: Mystery
Rating: 6/10

Poor Carlotta Wren. In a Bones-esque parental situation, her white-collar-crime father jumped bail with their mother, 10 years ago, leaving an 18-year-old Carlotta to raise her younger brother Wesley. Carlotta went from living in a mansion to a townhouse, and works as a Neiman Marcus salesgirl. Her fiance, Peter Ashford, dumped her when her stained family could damage his reputation. Wesley is no help, owing a lot of money to loan sharks and they're knee-deep in late bills as is. To make things worse, Wesley has just been arrested for hacking into the city's computer system to erase a friend's tickets and to get information on his parents' case.

To make extra money to cover his gambling debts, Wesley takes on a job as a body mover. He moves dead bodies to the morgue or funeral home with his boss, Coop, a guy with a past. He's also extremely good looking and willing to give Wesley a chance to put his past behind him, as Coop has also done. He's a good father figure to Wesley. It's just too bad that Wesley is too stupid to make responsible decisions.

Through Wesley's new job, Carlotta finds out that Angela Ashford, one of her Neiman Marcus clients, has died under suspicious circumstances. Due to Carlotta and Peter's history, they become suspects in the murder of Angela. Because the detective have something against Carlotta, they're not taking her seriously even though she has potential evidence for the case, and she winds up taking the investigation into her own hands. She's not that slick about it, but she's pretty good at turning up information. Of course, her investigation gets her into a very sticky situation at the end of the book, you know, that mystery "ta-da" moment where everythin falls into place and the murderer is revealed.

The mystery was put together nicely, but I felt like I never really got to know the characters. Their development didn't seem very deep and there were no memorable lines (hence no "quote of choice" in my heading). At the end, Carlotta's long-lost father calls and we're left at a cliffhanger for the next book in the series.

Rating

I guess this year, I'll rate my reads. I'll try to be consistent in my judging criteria, and I doubt I'll ever have a 1/10 because I tend to stop reading books I dislike.