A Perfect Gentleman

Author: Barbara Metzger
Published: October 5, 2004 (Signet)
Category: Regency Romance
Rating: 6/10

I'm really behind in my reviews and this book wasn't very good when it could've been so much better what with its premise and all. I had to think really hard to remember what happened in the book. I still gave it a 6/10 because I didn't think it was so bad that I stopped reading it.

Viscount Aubrey "Stony" Wellstone is at the end of his rope - and at the end of his family's once-great fortune. Desperate, he tries his luck at the gaming tables, where an offer to exchange his debts for a gentlemanly favor leads to a profitable new profession... as an honorable escort accompanying the cream of the ton.

Fiercely independent Ellianne Kane would normally have no use for an upper-class attendant - even one as stricking as the viscount - but she is in dire need. Her younger sister has vanished while in London, and the flame-tressed beauty aims to find her. Only Stony's knowledge of proper society can help Ellianne in her quest. And only Stony can prove to her that there is far more to their relationship than money....

There are also the requisite Metzger character quirks. For example, Stony faints at the faintest sight of blood. I guess this wimpy quirk is supposed to make his later heroic actions all the more meaningful. Ellianne is in town with her Aunt Lally, widowed by a sea captain, and has the mouth of a sailor and a mild case of Tourette's. As she's usually seated quietly on the other side of the room, Stony assumes she's sleeping, so when things like "No balls at Bow Street. No balls a'tall, I say" are heard, she blames it on an imaginary parrot left by her deceased sea captain uncle. She's also got an old dog that happens to be a vegetarian, but he has a penchant for attacking Stony (but the dog has no teeth because he's old), so Ellianne has taken to carrying small cooked potatoes on her person.

At the same time, a serial murderer is on the loose, and Ellianne is constantly afraid of that her missing sister might turn up at the morgue as another one of the victims. However, as a mystery, it's kind of blah. Not memorable, and you could see the murderer's true identity from a mile away.

If I were asked for my recommendation on a Metzger to read, I'd definitely recommend passing over this title. Metzger's got better.